Blog assignment number 5, we are slowly but surely coming up on the halfway point in the semester. I hope you have enjoyed my posts thus far! This week will be a little different than what I have been writing. The syllabus calls for us to watch and analyze three videos; Wizard of Oz: If I Only Had The Brain, Heart, Nerve, Wizard of Oz: Meeting the Wizard, Wizard of Oz: You've Always Had the Power. Once this was complete we were to take the aspects of the video and answer questions about our narrative project. To get an idea of what questions I’m answering or what I’m basing this post off of, I encourage you to visit my English Composition I class page, and view the blog assignment page. It will be under blog assignment 5.
Writing my narrative project has allowed me to take a deeper look into my life and certain things that have effected me personally. Putting my story onto paper has allowed me to take a deeper look into the story. First off it allows the reader to travel into my mind. It shows them how and what I was thinking at the time. It portrays what was going through my head at the time. However, it also allows them to peer into my mind now, and see how I view the sequence of events and what I’ve learned from them. It allows them to see how I’ve grown since the event. My narrative also gives an insight into my emotions both then and now. The story I chose involves a moment in my life of intense emotions. Reading the story will allow you to see my emotions during the time. You will get a sense of how I was feeling during the encounter, and I try my best to convey it in a way that makes you feel the way I was feeling. Once again however, it will also show you how I feel about the story now. It gives you insight into the emotions that I feel whenever I talk or think about the story. Throughout the narrative while you read, you will notice various conflicts. Some of which are just regular every day problems, and others are much more serious. The ones I want you to focus on will be the ones that are more serious, or high stakes. A good story is conveyed through emotion, and one of the best ways in my eyes to convey that is through a conflict. If I can make you feel like you are experiencing the conflict, then the story will become more meaningful because it will feel like you are there. That is a huge goal of mine for this narrative project. Writing my narrative has given me the opportunity to look at the story and my life in a new way. Having me look back to stories in my life I can see how I’ve reacted to certain events, and reflect on how I’ve handled them. This portion isn’t so much for the reader but more for me. By constantly reflecting on my past experiences I will become better equipped to handle conflicts in the future. I’ve learned from my past and I can use that to shape who I am now. Writing my narrative has made that much more apparent to me. With all of those taken into account, I believe that both life events and the stories we tell ourselves about those life events shape our sense of identity. I don’t think that one has more pull than the other. Your life events shape who you are. You need these past experiences to learn and to create yourself. Now, your past doesn’t make you who you are in itself. Just because of something that happened in the past doesn’t mean that is how you will be or the kind of person you will be. That is determined by how you reflect on the events. That is why both are necessary to determine your sense of identity. Your past doesn’t make your future, what you take away from the past and how you use it does, but in order to do that you need the past experiences. They go hand in hand.
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Welcome once again to my blog page! For this weeks assignment, we were tasked with creating another emotional scene. However, this week we are to do so using dialogue and symbolism. So this week I will be talking about a night I spent on the DMZ in Korea. We are basing our blogs off of a story called Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway), and using this as a reference. I encourage you to take a look at it! As for my post, once again, I hope you enjoy! It is the night of November 13th 2017. We are in South Korea on an operation to assist the South Korean ROK Marines man the DMZ (demilitarized zone). It is a cold windy night, roughly 17 degrees with a wind coming from the north at about 30 miles per hour. Myself and a fellow Marine named Forbey are stationed on the Mid-Eastern part of the DMZ along with a South Korean ROK Marine named Hancock. We are cold, we are hungry and we are tired.
“Why the hell do they gotta give us shit gear Bauer.” says Forbey, shivering in the unrelenting wind. “Man, I wish I could tell you, but one thing is for sure. This stuff is NOT warm enough.” “You guys cold?” said Hancock. “We are used to this weather, plus we get lots of warm gear.” “You don’t know the half of it Hancock. We have two layers and that’s it! I just want some food and sleep man.” uttered Forbey, clearly disgruntled as a gust of wind froze us to the core. “You know what may help?” I said. “A cigarette? please tell me it’s a cigarette.” “A cig. Come on over I’ve got plenty, just make sure someones keeping an eye across.” At this point Hancock made a gesture to me, letting me know that he would keep an eye out. I should explain briefly. While on the DMZ your sole job is to point your rifle across the border, ready to shoot at any time. If anything happens, the second you get the order you need to be ready to shoot. So we had to have at least one of us watching and pointing downrange. “Thanks man, this is definitely what I needed.” “You got it bud.” “Um. guys…..” “What is it Hancock?” I said. I could clearly hear the sound of distress in his voice. Something wasn’t right. “They are over there yelling.” he said. “They aren’t looking at us anymore, they are pointing their guns to the left.” Forbey and I promptly threw our cigarettes to the ground and grabbed our weapons and pointed across to see what we could. We could hear yelling in the distance and what sounded like a car engine. Then a call came over my radio. “All units load. Standby for clearance to engage.” the radio crackled. “Bauer what the fuck do they mean standby to engage?” “I don’t know what’s going on man, but it doesn’t sound good.” “Neubauer, do you see those lights? Off in the distance to our left.” said Hancock. Forbey and I look over and sure enough there were the headlights of a Humvee coming our way from the North Korean side. “Is… is somebody getting out and running?” “All units prepare to engage. Say again, all units prepare to engage.” crackled the radio. The unmistakeable sound of a bullet cracked over our heads to the left and we hit the ground. There was a slight pause and then. All hell broke loose. "All units, open fire." The focus of my blog post this week is to write about an event in my life and turn it into an emotional scene for the reader to relive through my eyes, much like Maya Angelou did in her piece My Name is Margaret. I am going to use my writing to appeal to the five senses the best I can, and create a scene that makes it feel like you are there yourself. This piece, like Mrs. Angelou's will be driven by my emotion, as well as largely descriptive. I hope you enjoy. "You will take this patch with you wherever you go. Always on the front of you flak jacket. It is absolutely essential in your day to day operations. If you ever go down or your brother next to you goes down, this will be ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL to yours and their survival." said Staff Sergeant Magobet, our Platoon Sergeant in 1st Platoon Charlie Company, as he walked around and handed out our respective patches. We are on the flight line in Okinawa, Japan, waiting to board our big grey C130. It's 93 degrees outside and 100% humidity. We are sweating through our utility uniform, the weight of our flak jacket on our chests, and the weight of our 70 pound pack strapped to our backs weighing us down. We are about to embark on a flight headed towards Syria to conduct anti-terrorism operations.
We all receive our patches and board the crammed, non-airconditioned plane. The smell of sweat and jet fuel fill our nostrils. We all sit upright as we listen to our Staff Sergeant once again telling us about these patches. I feel the patch in my hand, it is a rough stitched material. There is an EGA embroidered in the direct center of the patch and course new velcro on the back. "You will each wear this wherever you go. You will put your respective rank on one side, and anything else you feel pertinent on the other. Your critical information is on this patch. If you or someone else goes down you will rip this patch off of their flak jacket and use the information to call for a CASEVAC (casualty evacuation)." I take the rank off of my collar and stab the pointed posts through the material, it proves to be not easy as the material is thick and dense. I do the same with my Engineer Castle to distinguish myself as the lead engineer for the company. I take the patch and press the velcro against my flak jacket, making it stick to the center. I lean forward, and slowly start to fall asleep. A couple of hours go by and I am woken up by a red light. It is the middle of the night and dark inside the cargo hold. As I start to wake up, I notice it has gotten significantly colder in the plane due to us being at such a high altitude with little to no insulation. There is a red light at the front of the cargo hold that has turned on, bright and blinding to those who just woke up. Our Staff Sergeant tells everyone to prepare for landing. The plane is jolting back and forth as we hit turbulence, peoples packs and belongings are shifting all around. I start to feel unsettled, all different emotions hitting me at once. Fear and excitement take over as the C130 touches ground. I load my weapon and put on my kevlar as I am shifted forward as the plane slows on the runway. The plane stops and starts to lower its loading deck and a burst of disgustingly hot air blows into the cargo hold. My mouth goes dry as the air is filled with dust and sand, and you can feel grains of sand pelting against your face. I grip my cold and rigid weapon, and reach to my chest and feel my patch. The patch that will never leave my side, and could be the difference between life and death. The loading ramp drops, and we run out into the hot night, weapons ready, and ready for anything that might be ahead. Welcome back to my blog! For my second post, we were tasked with three readings. All were focused on the writing process and what goes into it. All three readings can be found directly below this paragraph. For this post, I will be creating a scene in which myself and all three authors of the readings come together and have a constructive conversation about the writing process. I hope you enjoy! It’s a nice summer day, the sky is blue with no clouds in sight. The sound of a truck tailgate closing echoes through the air at the docks at Surf City North Carolina. I’ve grabbed my fishing poles and tackle box and I’m heading to the charter boat for a day of deep sea fishing. As I walk up to the boat and I’m greeted by the other three people going on this trip with me. They introduce themselves as Don Murray, Mary Karr, and Anne Lamott. I think to myself, “Well I came on this trip to get away from my writing assignments, and now this is who I’m greeted by. I’m probably never gonna get a chance like this again, so I might as well get some pointers.”
The three of us walk up onto the big, white SeaVee 430 Fishing boat, a center console fishing charter outfitted with; four 300 horsepower motors, tons of rod holders, a double story center console, and a 40 gallon live baitwell. The captain starts up the motors, and we set off for our trip. As we are speeding across the open ocean, wind blowing through our hair, and I over hear Don, Mary, and Anne talking about the writing process. “Perfect! this is the perfect moment to ask my questions.” So, I join in. “Excuse me, I overheard you three talking about the writing process, and I could really use some pointers on my writing. It’s not going exactly the way I planned.” “Of course! What can we help you with?” says Anne. I explain to the three of them that I’m stuck. I have no idea where to begin with my memoir. And quite frankly, my current draft is GARBAGE. They all look at me and chuckle a little bit. I think “what did I say wrong?” I didn’t understand why they were all sharing a small laugh. Anne immediately responds saying, “Oh don’t worry about that! Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts.” This takes me by surprise, but once I looked around, they were all nodding their heads in agreement. Can this be true? That doesn’t exactly sound like the case, especially coming from someone who, lets be honest, is a phenomenal writer. “Wait, really…? That doesn’t make too much sense to me.” Mary immediately chimes in, “Every writer I know who’s worth a damn spends way more time losing than winning.” This starts to make me feel much more comfortable about my writing. I say “So it’s normal for my first result to be complete garbage?” At this point Anne says “Shitty first drafts. All good writers have them. this is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts.” This makes me realize, this isn’t going to come overnight to me. It’s going to take time and work. “So I’m going to have to continuously work at it and going back and revising?” I say to the group, who all nod their heads in agreement. “For me and most of the other writers I know, writing is not rapturous. In fact, the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts.” says Anne. I ask “Well, how long should something like this take? Multiple drafts I mean.” At this point Don speaks up. “Not overnight, for writing is a demanding, intellectual process; but sooner than you think, for the process can be put to work to produce a product which may be worth your reading” He adds, “When I teach, I believe the student should have the opportunity to write all the drafts necessary for him to discover what he has to say on this particular subject. Each new draft, of course, is counted as equal to a new paper. You are not teaching a product, you are teaching a process.” It is then that I realize that the entire paper is a process! “Okay, that makes sense! But where do I even start? I have no idea how to begin.” Mary speaks up again. “In the beginning, when there are zero pages, you have to cheer yourself into cranking stuff out, even if it later lands on the cutting room floor.” She goes on to further explain. “The idea is to get some scenes down. Let your mind roam down some alleys that may land in dead ends.” I now understand everything they are saying to me, and I say “If thats the case then why is this so hard for me? I’ve done it countless times before.” Don explains to me “There are no rules, no absolutes, just alternatives. what works one time may not another. all writing is experimental.” I then thank them all for their input, and tell them how much I appreciate it. It is then that we get to our first anchoring spot, and it’s time to do some fishing. Our captain starts to rig up the poles, and we all get into position. “100 bucks to whoever pulls the biggest fish.” says Don. Everyone pulls out 25 dollars and gives it to the captain for safekeeping. It’s finally time to relax from writing, and focus on fishing. looking back at the trip I developed three key points about my writing and the process it involves. First “You can’t expect to create a masterpiece in one go. It’s exactly that, a masterpiece, and a masterpiece is composed of multiple tries to get it just right. Be patient.” Second “Start by writing down everything. Every thought that comes to your mind on the subject of your writing. It’s a lot easier to work from something rather than nothing.” Lastly “You’re gonna write like shit. It’s only after practice and continuous revision that you will reach your final goal.” And that is the way I will approach writing from now on. Hello, and welcome to my first blog! This is where I will be posting blogs in relation to my English Composition I course at Delaware County Community College. For our first blog assignment, we were tasked with taking and answering the Proust Questionnaire. This questionnaire was made by Marcel Proust. Marcel Proust was a French writer and the whole idea behind this questionnaire was to reveal to yourself your true personality. I hope you enjoy! __1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness? My perfect idea of happiness would be a whole life. A complete loving family that I get to come home to every day after work and get to spend every night with. A job I truly enjoy going into every day. A comfortable home in the country with lots of land and animals. That is my idea of perfect happiness. __2.__What is your greatest fear? My greatest fear would be losing the people who I love the most and who are closest to me. I’ve lost too many as is and I’m terrified of losing more. __3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? The trait I most deplore in myself would be how reserved I am. It makes it difficult for me to meet new people because I don’t really enjoy it. I like to keep to myself, generally the less someone knows about me the better. __4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others? The trait I most deplore in others is when people are full of themselves. I cannot stand when people think they are the best thing that has ever been created. It annoys the shit out of me. __5.__Which living person do you most admire? The person I most admire is currently is James Mattis. He is a retired General in the Marine Corps and former Secretary of Defense. There are multiple reasons why I admire him from his war fighting tactics and abilities to the way he deals with any situation and how he deals with them so calmly. __6.__What is your greatest extravagance? I cannot stop buying stuff for my guns and or boat. Both are equal in that sense. I spend whatever I can on both, and I have a lot of money invested in them. __7.__What is your current state of mind? In one word, stressed. Theres a lot going on in the world and in my life and while I’m in a good state of mind overall, I’m very stressed. __8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I think it would be being a kind person to others. People are praised for doing kind acts like helping someone across the street. It's not something that should be praised, it's something that should be done automatically. Everyone should be kind to others, and the fact that it's praised when it happens goes to show how rare it is. __9.__On what occasion do you lie? I rarely lie, I don’t like lying. There are very few situations in which I would lie. The only lies I would tell would be small white lies, and even then, I would only tell them in a situation that I felt absolutely necessary to. __10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance? My acne, its not something you can always see, but I have it bad. I get bad breakouts on my chest and back and I hate it. __11.__Which living person do you most despise? That is a difficult question. It is difficult for me to decide. So instead of naming one person, I’m going to name a group or type of person. It would be someone who hurts others or manipulates others for their own personal gain. Whether it’s a regular every day person, or someone like Bashar-Al Assad, in my eyes, they are a waste of oxygen. __12.__What is the quality you most like in a man? Being able to use their hands. You’re a man, you should be able to fix shit. There are too many men who act like they are tuff and the shit, but cant even change a tire. __13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman? Being understanding. If you can sit down and have a constructive conversation with me, even if you don’t agree with me, remain calm and understand my viewpoint then that is perfect. __14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Curse words. I think that my most overused phrase would be “Are you fucking kidding me”. That comes out damn near every other sentence. __15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life? My fiancé Rose. I’ve never loved someone the way I love her. __16.__When and where were you happiest? So far, the day she said yes. Theres plenty more moments to come. __17.__Which talent would you most like to have? Banjo. I would absolutely love to play the banjo. I love the instrument and I love how it sounds. __18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My size, and what I mean by that is my weight and height. I aspire to be 180 pounds of pure muscle and would love to be somewhere around 6foot 2 inches. While I can get to 180 pounds of muscle, which I’m working on, the 6’2” is not gonna happen. __19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement? I think my greatest achievement was becoming a Marine and everything I did while I was on active duty. It’s something I’m very proud of and will take that pride with me to the grave. __20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? I would most definitely come back as a dog. Dogs with a loving family have the life and just get to chill and do whatever. __21.__Where would you most like to live? Out in the countryside of the good old USA. Probably somewhere either with a farm or just out somewhere with a lot of land, preferably out midwest. __22.__What is your most treasured possession? My EGA. You receive your first EGA (Eagle Globe and Anchor) right after the crucible in Marine Corps boot camp. If you know anything about the Marine Corps boot camp, then you know why thats my most treasured possession. __23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Losing everything, your job, family, home, money, just everything. Once you lose it all and theres nowhere left to go down to then I believe that is the lowest depth. __24.__What is your favorite occupation? My favorite occupation would be the equivalent to what I did in the military. Getting to blow shit up. Unfortunately there is not much of a job field for that int he civilian world. Hence why I am going for my second favorite, which would be the medical field. __25.__What is your most marked characteristic? My most marked characteristic would be my nose, I think thats the very first thing people notice when they look at me. __26.__What do you most value in your friends? Honesty, if you aren’t honest with me and bullshit with me then there’s no place for you in my life. __27.__Who are your favorite writers? I love Stephen King. I love his books and that entire genre. I don’t read a terrible amount, but when I do its usually something by him. __28.__Who is your hero of fiction? ????? __29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with? Douglas MacArthur I would say. Just the way he upheld himself and the way he acted in general. He didn’t always go the way people wanted him to and didn’t follow what everyone else did. He did what he wanted and was damn good at it. __30.__Who are your heroes in real life? My dad for one, he is probably the biggest hero in my eyes. Just everything he does for our family and for everyone in general. I aspire to be like him one day. __31.__What are your favorite names? My favorite boy name would be Mason, and favorite girl name would be Adalynn. __32.__What is it that you most dislike? When people chew with their mouths open. I think that is the thing that brings the most hatred into my life. Chew with your god dammed mouth closed. __34.__How would you like to die? I would like to die from old age, in my sleep. Painlessly and quietly. __35.__What is your motto? Focus. Because focus creates targets, and targets create direction, and direction feeds progress, and progress is everything. |
Douglas Neubauer"Expanding my writing through experimentation." Archives
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